Fatherhood, Society’s Rescue

Fatherhood, Society's Rescue

Introduction:

 The importance of the role of fathers in the society cannot be over emphasized. Statistics show that societal issues like crime, teen pregnancy; drug addiction to a large extent is the effect of absence of participatory fathers in homes.

Fathers are not just to father their families, but the society and nation at large. Fathers are feathers, fathers are ladders. They are needed for flying high and for climbing heights.

In the wake of the recent behavioural trend of men in families and nations, it is needful to instruct men of their spiritual and social roles from God’s perspective.

We are losing fathers, not to death, but to irresponsibility, frustration and ignorance of their place in divine agenda.

There is a serious issue at hand- FATHERLESSNESS syndrome.

In a large number of homes today, fathers are absent, due to separation, divorce, and the rising number of out-of wedlock births. Other fathers live in the home but are absent from the family for all intents and purposes. They have forsaken their responsibility as fathers because of career or ministerial pursuits; indifference, and selfishness, as they put their own pleasures ahead of their children‘s welfare.

Some are very abusive, physically and emotionally. We have heard of instances where children are mercilessly beaten, sexually abused by fathers or witness the trauma of domestic violence between their parents at home.

Either way, these innocent creatures are being torn apart from within; the manifestation will become visible in our society in future.

Some other fathers are permissive, anything goes. They don’t want to put their feet down and correct bad behaviour in their children, some fathers even reward bad behaviour. They give gifts to their children to compensate for their absence.

Fathers, your child needs your presence more than your presents.

The devil knows that the society will be healthy if fathers sit up, that is why men are on his top list.

Where are the fathers? They are at the drinking spots or playing drafts, watching football at home, always at work, joining the occult etc.

This means that many children don‘t have the benefit of a good father. But I know that God is raising a new generation of participatory fathers that will follow God’s standard.

The plan of God is to have heaven’s design of fatherhood practiced on earth {Matt 6:1, 10.}

Men must turn back to their Creator, who has the blueprint of how to act in the capacity of a father.  (Heb 10:7, Jer 1:5)

It is important to emphasize that ‘Fatherhood’ is not a title but function. You are not a father just because you a sperm donor, but because you are ready to take up the responsibility of ensuring that your seed fulfill purpose.

According to Deuteronomy 6:6-9, the onus lies on fathers to be the instructor of their children.

 “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.”

In order to be able to do this effectively, the father must be available to spend quality time with the children.

He also has to partner with God by first of all by  putting his own hand in God’s, so that he will have the strength to throw his “arrows” far ahead to reach their target according to Psalm 127:3-5.

 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”

These children are supposed to be so groomed that they will represent God well in future by projecting His values at the gates of the society i.e. in  Government and governance, Entertainment, Sports and Culture, Religion and Belief system, Business and Economy, Family, Educational sector etc.

Can you just imagine having people with sound Christian ethics in government? Would we have bills supporting homosexuality being passed into law?

Fathers need to rise up to their duties to protect the future generation from decadence.

When children are not properly targeted, they become fallen and broken arrows, who are released into the society as murderers,   armed robbers, prostitutes, abusers, fraudsters etc. Instead of going forward, they turn backwards to inflict people.

Parents should note that they will be the first victim of these arrows for they will return to pierce their hearts with sorrow.

Fatherhood is honourable, fathers should be honoured, and they must also earn the honour by returning home to perform their God-given functions which will be summarised below:

ROLES OF THE FATHERS

Instructors/ Trainers: Parents are not just to instruct, they are to train and ensure compliance. (Eph. 5:26; Deut. 6:4-9)

Role-model: As a trainer, you have to model the instruction first, and the trainee, (the child) learns through observation first and imitation later. So it’s not “Do as I say, but do as I do”

Marriage-Protectors not abusers- Col 3:19; 1Pet 3:17

Head/Leader: (Spiritual and social) Ephesians 5:22-24; 1Cor 11:9, 1Pet 3:1. Matt 23:11

Provider: 1Tim 5:8

Companion: Gen 2:20-24, 1Cor 7:2-5

CONSEQUENCES OF FATHERLESSNESS IN THE SOCIETY:

  • Curse: Malachi 4:6, Isaiah 14:21, Jeremiah 31:29
  • Increase in divorce rate Malachi 2:15
  • Confusion and Insecurity on the part of their wives and children because of spiritual exposure.
  • Abuse: Physical, emotional and psychological
  • Infidelity
  • Domestic Violence
  • Cultism
  • Drug abuse
  • Crime
  • Indiscipline and waywardness
  • Teen pregnancy
  • Prostitution

BASIC ISSUES WITH FATHERS

  • Absence of the fear of God Proverbs 9:10
  • Absence of proper role models/ life coach: Most men were not positively mentored or validated by their own earthly fathers or significant others.  Meanwhile that is the expectation of God, He validated and affirm His son Jesus openly by saying  “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” (Matthew3:17). Fathers, please validate your children.
  • Lack of knowledge: So men get lost in the process of masculinity because they don’t know what to do. Hosea4:6; Proverbs4:3
  • Confusion and Insecurity: Most men cannot fathom their new roles in the modern world (for example, equal partnership with women) as opposed the traditional ones (such as breadwinner and protector). Whatever a man can do, some women can do better either finance wise, profession wise, education-wise etc. Women are really competing with men in the marketplace.

So, a wife that is more successful career and financial-wise should still be submissive, complement and not compete with the man.

Men should also rely on God and not their financial prowess.

  • Identity crisis

When men are ignorant of their true identity in God, it affects not only their own callings and fulfilment, but also that of their families and of society as a whole. This is because, as the man goes, so goes the family, society, and the world.

  • The need to be understood. We need to understand the following about men.
  • Men are filled with testosterone, which makes men aggressive, performance-driven and wanting to win. Anytime it is insinuated that they are losers; they recoil or go into their shells. It is difficult to win or achieve when the atmosphere is not conducive. Their ego should not be hurt, rather massage it.
  • Men hate criticism, they are made in the image of God, so they are drawn to praise, not criticism. When you praise a man, he wants to do more.
  • Men dodge confrontation

Most men are not prepared for family life. Girls start playing with dolls as children, they role-play as mothers, adolescent girls read romantic novels, watch Telenovellas.  Boys don’t. Parents should therefore work hard on domesticating their sons..

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