Christian Marriage: What Is It?
Introduction: Marriage is the holy union and a COVENANT between two matured and consenting adult man and woman with God as the principal witness (Malachi 2:13-14).
It is God’s idea therefore; His blueprint or manual for the institution should be followed for it to be successful. Even though creation was complete and God had looked at what He made and declared, “it is good” (Genesis 1:30) Still we see Him in Genesis 2:18 declaring that it was not good for man to be alone, thereby warranting the bringing forth of the woman to complete Adam. God joined them together in Genesis 2:24-25 and pronounced nothing should put asunder what He has joined together.
Unfortunately, we happen to live in a generation where a sacred thing like marriage is trodden under foot. This article is geared towards helping every reader make a distinction between what can help make marriage strong and what can also destabilize it.
Before analyzing God’s blueprint for marriage let us look into some wrong reasons for entering into marriage.
- PRESSURE: Marrying because of parental, peer or societal pressure. This will certainly be a poor foundation to build marital relationship on. Knowing you are the one that will stay in the marriage, be very sure that you have your peace about the relationship before tying the knots. The pressure you had prior to marriage will cave in at the face of the naked realities that the actual marriage presents. So take the pressure off by taking time do proper findings.
- AGE: Don’t marry because you believe that your biological clock is ticking away. It is better to be single than to hop into a bad marriage.
- PAST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE: Because of pregnancy i.e. feeling guilty about having had sex or baby with a person before becoming born again is no justification to marry the person involved, seek the face of God for His will.
- CHANGE OF ENVIRONMENT: Being tired of living with your parents or guardians is not a good enough reason for marriage. You may be trying to dodge your bad background and land in a worse situation because of impatience.
- FINANCE: Don’t marry because you need a financial bailout.
LONELINESS: Some people marry because they are lonely. The truth is that you can be married, and still be lonely.
Also, some people married their partners because they don’t want to hurt them after “wasting” their time. Others quickly marry to avoid fornication. Whatever the case may be, marrying because of the above mentioned reasons will simply be to build a life time union on sinking sand.
PRIORITIES IN CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
- Before you start thinking of marriage, ensure that you are spiritually, physically, emotionally and financially matured. During creation, God created male and female (Genesis 1:27) but before they were “joined together”, the male had become “a man”, and the female “a wife” Gen 2:24
- God must be the foundation of the relationship because of your own selves you can do nothing. He is “the manufacturer and Author” of marriage, so the manual is with Him. Psalm 127:1
- You must not be unequally yoked i.e. you cannot marry an unbeliever. You have to marry someone that you both belong to the same kingdom. When you are born again, you had been translated into the kingdom of light. The king of the kingdom is God and the constitution is the Bible, anyone outside the kingdom will likely not abide by the constitution, it will just be alien to them and you will struggle in the relationship. So, you must marry your own bone and flesh i.e. you must share the same, father, kingdom and spiritual DNA. Bone must come to his own bone (Ezekiel 37:7, 2Corinthian 6:14-17, Gen 2:22)
- Premarital sex is a No! No! You are cutting a covenant with anyone you have sex or become “one flesh” with, and the elements involved as witnesses are blood and water. Because of the elements involved that serves as catalyst of the covenant- your spirits are entwined; there is water (sweat) and blood.
Sex is spiritual as well as physical (1John 5:8) Therefore It shouldn’t be done outside the covenant of marriage. It is a sin against God and against yourselves that is why you feel guilty and hurt when the relationship doesn’t end in marriage.
- When you enter into the marriage covenant, you stay with your partner only till death do you part. Polygamy and homosexuality is biblically unacceptable, Genesis 2:24
- Marriage involves “leaving” one’s family of origin and “being united” to one’s spouse, which signifies the establishment of a new family unit distinct from the two originating families.
You must create boundaries for your union to thrive. Parents, friends, work, ministry, social media etc. must not be given top priority above your home “…leave father and mother.. “; relocate physically, you need private space and freedom in order to bond with your spouse. (Genesis 2:23 -25).
- You must be ready to cleave to your partner and become one physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially etc.
- You must be open, transparent and intimate with your spouse. No manipulation, lying, infidelity or emotional affair. Genesis 2:25, Proverbs 5:15
- The man is the head of the union, only a monster has two heads. As a woman, don’t marry a man you are not ready to submit to.
The man is supposed to love his wife unconditionally, the wife should submit to her husband; there must be mutual respect in the relationship Ephesians 5:22-26
- The heartbeat of God is for Marriage to be permanent. (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9). Marriage represents a serious commitment that should not be entered into lightly or unadvisedly. It involves a solemn promise or pledge, not merely to one’s marriage partner, but before God. Divorce is not permitted, what God has put together, no man, including the couple involved should put asunder. Separation exerts a great toll on the children of the union and the couple; it also frustrates the will of God for the union. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:15). What God has put together should not be separated by any human lawyer or judge. In order to avoid a strangling union that sucks blood due to failings, abuse and outright oppression. Every person should take time to prayerfully search for a person of like mind and spirit. The already married reading this now, with very troubling marriage should know that there is liberty in God. Liberty to seek for and get the right help. Where a person’s life is under threat in their attempt to obey the God of a covenanted marriage. Godly advice is separation for counsel and therapy together with intense prayer for change before moving back into the marriage again. Separation not divorce is the suggestion not careless and ungodly judgment and lifestyle.
REASONS FOR MARRIAGE
- To establish the kingdom on earth – God wants His kingdom established on earth and He gave the authority to man that He created in His image to rule and dominate. Genesis1:28 Also to exhibit the unity of the Trinity on earth. John 17:21
- Companionship and mutual support Genesis 2:18, Ecclesiastes 4: 9-11, Deuteronomy 32:30
- God’s weapon of warfare against the enemy: The children of the union are God’s reward as well as His arrow against the enemy Psalm 127:4-5, Malachi 2:15. They are to bruise the head of Satan. That is why when the first Adam fell, the last Adam (Jesus) still came through a woman o save God’s children from the curse of the law Gal 3:13
- For procreation: Not just babies but godly ideas, thoughts and concepts Gen 1:28; Mal 2:15.
Marriage is an important part of your life that can lead you to heaven or hell, open your eyes and ask questions during courtship, seek knowledge and godly wisdom Prov24:3; also seek the face of God in prayers and ensure that you have your peace before going ahead. Marrying right brings God honour, so in your marriage discover the purpose and wage a good warfare to silence the opponents of godly union. GOD BLESS YOU!